Monday, May 11, 2009
Lackadaisical Intentions.
She wraps herself in incompetence like an oversized sweatshirt, smothering insecurities before they hatch inside her eye sockets, break her open from behind just so she never sees it coming.
And though it snowed again this morning, she stood impassive at the window as flurries flurried past into oblivion, walked away unhurried while a door swung shut not noticed in the gloom and doom and fairytales and backward dreams she wakes from so unbeautiful.
But there’s amazement hiding underneath her fingernails, waiting for the day she’ll paint them white like lilies for the funeral of that girl, the one she used to know when once upon a time still meant something and storybook nonsense defined her; she wishes it would come out and play, give her rose tinted glasses so she won’t see all the hatred swirling up around her.
Everything she musn’t do is one step farther from her future, closer to the beginning she wishes could begin again--every cup of coffee strips away the innocence cached between her ribs, leaking from a broken heart she went looking for because it was easier than letting go.
A single tear is sliding down her body, touching all the broken places so imperfectly, so distractingly vehemently distastefully, as she slips into this state of somewhat sleep, warm and cracked and comfortless; incoherency is something she’ll never take for granted so long as she’s compensating for all those flaws that God forgot to warn her about.
This nightmare’s an amazement all its own.
I LOVE YOU 9:24 AM
♥ desires for my birthday and thenon
Kevin Max's Raven Songs album
A USB Yamaha digital recording piano keyboard
Rock Band for Wii
My silver star necklace
My gold star necklace
My jiggly Giraffe silver necklace
The Sanyo Xacti HD underwater digital camcorder (lime green!) when it comes to the USA
The complete Powerpuff Girl's season collection
Freaks & Geeks season collection
Foster's Home Of Imaginary Friends season collection
Real Madrid European football paraphernalia
Broncos American football paraphernalia
A Lara Croft Halloween costume
TWLOHA Deon sweater
A Purpose For Pain TWLOHA book
A USB SD camera card reader
A pineapple mug to drink liquids in
Pineapple antics in general
Giraffe antics in general
Tim Hawkins stand up comedies
A teal colored automobile to drive, that's better than URN