Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Insomniatic Echoes.
All she wants is to touch the sky, that ceiling of insubstantial imagination with horizons full of star-shaped promises she used to wish upon, when she was so much younger and it wasn’t inconceivable that wish-upon-a-star could be a miracle.
But skeletons skitter through her daydreams—unsheathed fingers scratching at her eyelids, bare hips gleaming like the milky white of nothingness and nowhere and everything else she’s so afraid of as tongueless mouths stutter castanet mumblings, teeth clicking clacking grinding cracking without lips to shape around the words and make them whole, but she can hear it in her head if not her ears, how dubious her wanting is. They know.
And from the daydreams come her nightmares filled with a different lack of words, the kind that begins in screams and ends in the stiff embrace of loneliness choking her, there’s no zenith, no lapse, no ebb, it’s all the same sort of pain, worn and torn and broken just alike, but there’s nothing she can do except wake up and face the azure emptiness above.
They want to tell her she’s defective, all their conclusive lies, assumptions leading to a definition of everything she’s not; it’s just too hard to say that she’s unique—just like everybody else.
She wakes up feeling lovely, like the world belongs to only her and she can make it fall in love with her scars, but the doubts come tapping back on the tiptoes of a stranger born of bones, who giggles without lungs at her infidelity as she catches falling dreams beneath her tongue and wishes they were just a little sharper, so they could take her away.
But every day’s a prison, every night a wraith, each one better worse the same as before but different because she knows a little more, feels a little more, wants a little less; maybe one day all these restrictions will cut her down to nothingness, less than that, enough to reach up broken fingers and brush the heaven she’ll never see.
What happened to the days she could sleep?
I LOVE YOU 10:41 AM
♥ desires for my birthday and thenon
Kevin Max's Raven Songs album
A USB Yamaha digital recording piano keyboard
Rock Band for Wii
My silver star necklace
My gold star necklace
My jiggly Giraffe silver necklace
The Sanyo Xacti HD underwater digital camcorder (lime green!) when it comes to the USA
The complete Powerpuff Girl's season collection
Freaks & Geeks season collection
Foster's Home Of Imaginary Friends season collection
Real Madrid European football paraphernalia
Broncos American football paraphernalia
A Lara Croft Halloween costume
TWLOHA Deon sweater
A Purpose For Pain TWLOHA book
A USB SD camera card reader
A pineapple mug to drink liquids in
Pineapple antics in general
Giraffe antics in general
Tim Hawkins stand up comedies
A teal colored automobile to drive, that's better than URN